Parenting is a two way process. It is a partnership between the child and the parent. There are no bosses in parenting. It is important that we create a nurturing environment for our children that allows them to blossom.7 Things that can really help us build a strong relationship with your child.
The best way to do this is by walking the talk and acting the part. Kids always follow what they see. The notice and follow us very closely. Hence, if you want your child to be honest, then be honest with them, if we want our child to say thank you and be grateful, then say thank you back to them, if we want our child to read books then we must read books when they are watching us, etc. Kids have an inbuilt natural tendency to follow and learn everything that they see.
It is important that we appreciate them for their good behaviour and not just scold them for their misbehaviour. Appreciation can go a long way in shaping their personality. Phrases like – You were amazing today, It’s so good of you, Wow! you have coloured this so well, can really help them to be the best version of themselves.
If we continuously keep pointing out their mistakes, they either get used to listening to that stuff or do it even more to get your attention. Best strategy is to ask them questions about what they did, why they did it and if they were happy with the consequence of the choices they made. This will encourage them to take ownership of their own lives and be responsible for their actions.For instance, if our child doesn’t score well in Maths instead of scolding him/her, the best thing to do is to ask questions, such as “Don’t you like Maths?”, “Did you not get enough time to study?”, “Is something bothering you or distracting you?”, “Do you have problems in understanding the concepts?”, “Do you think you can perform better, next time?”, “Are poor grades bothering you or you don’t care too much about it?”These questions will help him/her to find a solution for himself/herself and also make us more aware of the challenges that your child is facing. Hence, the focus should be on the process of trust building and fostering awareness rather than just trying to address the problem directly.
Loving our child is something that we all do as parents. However, it is very important that we also express this love to them. Sometimes we are so overwhelmed by the work in hand that we forget to tell our child how much we love him/her. Sometimes we just take it for granted that they know how much we love them and don’t think that it is important to express. However, expressing your emotions and telling our child that we are always there for him/her builds an unshakeable bond between the two of us.
We must make sure that we have a two sided conversation with our child and that he/she is allowed to have his/her opinions too. We should not be always telling him/her what is the right thing to be done. We don’t want your child to be exactly like us. We want them to have their own personality.
It is important that we spend time with our child but is is also super important that we give your child some space and allow him/her to do things on his/her own. This encourages creativity and independence in decision making. They learn how to self manage and are not always looking for external opinions to find solutions to their problems.
As parents we always want our kids to be the best at everything they do. Sometimes this can actually be true. But then sometimes they might not be good at something probably because they don’t enjoy it enough. It is important that we don’t force them to be good at everything. It is okay to fail and to learn from your failures. We must never make the mistake of comparing our child with some pre-determined bench mark in your head.
Parenting a beautiful journey that helps us find your closest friend if we focus on building a relationship of trust and care with our child. This does not mean that we should not have any rules and structure in place. However, we must always aim at imposing these structures and rules in a positive way rather than forced domination.